OMG I can't believe it

Good morning all!! and yes it is a great morning, today was weigh in day for my bodybugg program! Now before we get into the scale i am taking advice from Weight Watchers and including non- scale victories
1. I did the eliptical for 15 minutes ( a first for me)
2. my seat restraint on roller coasters clicked down one more notch
3. my body bugg keeps me moving and i like it!

I did consume more calories than i normally would over the holidays but thanks to my bodybugg I was able to see how much I needed to burn and kept my calorie deficit (thats how many more i burn than consume) over 1000 daily sometimes even close to 2000.

I officially believe in myself ... the scale this morning read 214.8, then I had adam get on to check, then I got on while holding the dog to check and it was right! 214.8 feels so good.

Calling out to all of you on the couch, the secret is simple ... move around alot!!

my best friend!

I am a firm believer that God has a plan for everyone and He puts people in our lives for a reason. I have a very special person in my life, my BFFFL Reese. This Christmas she gave me an amazing gift of personal training with Ron. I can't believe how truly blessed I am to have family and friends who support and love me so much. With my body bugg and personal training I will be unstoppable. I know she reads my blog so I will try not to make her cry but I just want to say here in print the words that are so hard to say in person.

Reese, you have helped me so much, I believe in myself through your eyes. I am bursting with pride to be able to call you my friend. But you are so much more. You are my sounding board, my sanity, my partner in crime, my sister and sometimes my mom. You have given me the gift of life this christmas and I won't let you down!

Ok well everyone I have been burning up a storm and I hope to have a successfull weigh in on the 28th. I have a challenge for all my readers...... On my comments section weigh in with me lets all get honest about where we are at and do something about it! Merry Christmas!!!

loving my new bodybugg

So i haven't updated in a bit but I have lots of exciting news! I made it through our holiday luncheon at work and i ate my own food. I was so proud of myself! I can't believe I passed up chic fil a. I just got my new Bodybugg and so far i love it! I had a 2974 calorie deficit (that means i burned 2974 more than I ate) i burned 4111 calories today! 1 pound is equal to 3500calories so I just need to keep burning!!! I will be changing my weigh in to weekly for my bodybugg program so I may not hit double digits but my first goal is to be under 200lbs by our cruise in march.

I have had some small victories, my clothes have begun to fit differently, I can see the difference mostly in my shirts. I tried PiYO this week and it was very hard but very rewarding. I have also really enjoyed kickboxing and hip hop hustle. Of course nothing beats Ron kicking my but one on one.

Work is pretty crazy so I may not update again until my next weigh in after the holiday so here is my grown up christmas list...

1. I pray for the health and safety of my family and friends
2. I am wishing for a yoga bag
3. I am wishing for more personal training sessions
4. I am thankful for my husband
5. I am thankful for my dog

Happy holidays to all!

Todays workout with Ron!

I have been blogging about my trainer but I have not revealed his identity because for obvious reasons I wanted to ask him first. His name is Ron Betta, go ahead google him I'll wait..... yeah thats right he wrote a book. I like to think of him as my own celebrity trainer. Today he put me through the wringer, honestly I can't remember all the excerises. I do remember carrying around two 45lb weights named Charlotte and Tiana to each exercise. I feel amazing about my accomplishments today, I know that the pain is temporary and I can work past it. I am excited to reach new fitness goals! My food is on track and I am working to stop obsessing over addictive thoughts while it is not easy I need to get past that mental block in my mind.

And now for the weigh in...... 224 that is 13lbs down 7 in the last 2 weeks! Woo Hoo! My body fat percent is down 2 pts as well! I am so proud of myself! I can do this and I will channel that energy tonight in cardio kickboxing. Yeah the gym twice in one day I almost can't believe it myself!

Happy hollidays!

What is it about the Hollidays all around is food, food and more food!!! Sometimes people will not understand and push you, saying "o c'mon its not that bad" and you get the eye rolling. Then others support you and give you high fives but it is hard to imagine any one who truly understands. There is so much mental torment when your food addict mind tells you that you want something, not only that but you deserve it and need it even though deep down you know you shouldn't have it. I can honestly say that since WED 12/2 I have been in control of everything I put in my body and as much as I am celebrating that win I am also in a panic over how long I can make it last. Those are the moments I have to remind myself to keep it one day at a time. I have spent so much of my life medicating with food, going through the motions and keeping up appearances that I have missed just being present in my own life. That is something I am working on! I am going to attend an OA meeting this week which will deffinitely help.

I am waiting for my bodybugg in the mail!!! We thought we could get it at the gym but turns out we had to have it shipped! I can't wait to get it! I am looking forward to seeing my caloric burn!

Tonight I will be hitting the gym for the hip hop hustle cardio class and it will be my sixth day this week, and my body feels it. I am sore all over! I need to stay focused though because I will be weighing in tomorrow and I want to have a positive experience. I am nervous because I just started my monthly and that can cause your weight to go up. I guess we will see! Small victory, last night while doing inventory at work I had to go to the back freezer. There are jackets back there and the last time I wore one the XL would not zip up. Last night not only did it zip but I had a little wiggle room! OK so it may be a little crazy to cry in a freezer because your jacket fits but that small victory helped me avoid the pizza party dinner! It is so crazy how we put ourselves on this circle of self sabotage. First we eat the bad food, then we are too tired to excerise so we beat ourselves up and eat more bad food. This goes on until we are so overwhelmed that we resign ourselves to the fact that this fat body must be our identity. I am a prisoner in this body! But the key is that only I can set myself free and it will take time, sweat and tears!

Sorry to have rambled on but that is where my head is right now. Till next time.........

i am getting a bodybugg!!!

I am sitting at the gym waiting for my workout class to begin and I am so excited! My dad just called and my parents are getting me the bodybugg! I can pick it up from the gym on Monday! get ready world here i come! I was just joking with my hubby how funny it will be to see how many calories different activities :) burn! gotta get set up

i am getting a bodybugg!!!

I am sitting at the gym waiting for my workout class to begin and I am so excited! My dad just called and my parents are getting me the bodybugg! I can pick it up from the gym on Monday! get ready world here i come! I was just joking with my hubby how funny it will be to see how many calories different activities :) burn! gotta get set up

my first steps...

I like most people joined a gym when I had made my decision to get healthy but I knew having the membership was not enough so I prepaid for personal training. I am so cheap I knew if I paid for it first you better believe I would go. My first session was eye opening I was measured and weighed and man that was rough. Sometimes people say how could you not see yourself getting so big and honestly there is so much denial and self hate you just train yourself not to look. Sure you notice that stairs are your number one enemy and clothes shopping is not a good time but you learn how to cleverly crop your photos and buy designer handbags instead of jeans. I honestly didn't look at the scale on my first day so my start weight is my highest I have ever weighed myself at, 237. Yeah I just typed that no looking back now. The first week was slow going for me, I was not in it whole heartedly. Then came Thanksgiving and the hubby made Turducken..... so yeah when my trainer emailed I was a little scared. That week when we met he laid it on the line. I had to make a decision to live or continue killing myself. Well I kicked it into gear, first I tackled my food.... As I have said I consider myself a food addict and I struggle daily with negative sabotaging thoughts regarding my diet. I have been known to cry in restaurants simply because of the emotional internal struggle of ordering. I had gone to a few OA meetings and knew that weighing and measuring all my meals would be the only way but I took it one step further cooking, weighing and packing all my meals for the week and popping em in the freezer to ensure I don't have to deal with making those choices unprepared. Then for my workouts I actually accomplished my 6 day per week workout schedule. It wasn't easy, I couldn't sit down for a few days after my first spinning class but it was worth it. When I met my trainer at the end of the week I was so proud to report I had accomplished all of it, the food, drinking 8 glasses of water daily and working out 6 days that week! Well he has a crazy way of congratulating me because what transpired was 60 minutes of the hardest work out of my life! We started with the warm up, running on an incline the rest is a blur except for 2 key moments. I am an avid watcher of The Biggest Loser and I have seen them jumping up on the platforms and this season a contestant had a mental block and could not jump onto it, well I had a mini panic attack when my trainer pulled it out and told me to jump on it. The first leap I had to jump back because I din't land well but I was so shocked to have even just done that I kept going and was able to jump up onto it 10 times! I can't describe how awesome that felt. The end of the workout was about 35 minutes of walking lunges holding 20lbs of weight. I thought I would die or worse throw up at the gym! But I did it and I sweat more than I ever have in my life. I have been sore for 2 days now but I still managed to bang out my cardio yesterday so I am considering this a great success!

I had some anxiety this week when my husband and I were invited to a birthday party. All I could think about is the menu: stuffed shells, garlic bread, cheese and crackers, chips, soda, and cheesecake. It was important for us to be there for our friends but I wasn't sure. We showed up early and stayed in the living room. They had thoughtfully put out carrots but I didn't even walk over to the table I had my water bottle and we just enjoyed the conversation. When dinner was about to be served we politely excused ourselves and headed home to enjoy our own food. It was the first time I had attended an event like that and did not eat anything and it felt good!

The food plan is working and i have been consuming 1290 calories daily and had nothing to drink but water. I am panicky a bit though because my trainer asked me if I could cut that to 1050 cals/day and that scares me a bit. He promises we can weigh in on WED so I will be able to see my progress and update the world!

Getting to know me......

As I said my name is meghan and I am 27yrs old. I am happily married and have been for 5yrs. My husband and I have been together since I was 16 and he makes me very happy! I grew up in Boston and lived there until last May when my hubby and I decided to pack it all up and head to the sunshine state our love of disney world was too strong to fight. We have been here about 8 months and we love it.

Now lets get into the good stuff, I have always felt that I had a weight problem. My relationship with food has never been a healthy one. I can remember sneaking food as young as 7 yrs old and hiding it in my room. My weight steadily increased after I got married and that is when the health complications started. My husband and I have had misscarriages and infertility problems for more than 5 yrs now and the recent diagnosis of PCOS has provided an explanation for the facial hair and the abnormal periods. I knew I then this weight had to come off and come off now if I had any chance of becoming a mother.

Now I have tried before but diets never worked. The food always sabotaged me, or I should say my thoughts about food. I was like a drug addict with food always obssessing about when i would get my next fix. I would binge, eat when i was happy, sad or indifferent. I set myself up for failure and sabotaged myself countless times.

I am happy to report I am finding freedom from those thoughts and actions daily, and I will chronicle the experiences I have here in this blog, I would love to say I am doing it all to help others but I am also blogging to help myself.

Meghan's project Live

My name is Meghan I am 27 years old, 4ft 10" and I weigh 237 pounds. I spent the last ten years struggling with my weight and now I have recently discovered I am suffering from PCOS which causes infertility unless I take the weight off. I was feeling pretty down and overwhelmed and thought I am never going to be a mother, I am going to die if I don't make a change. That is when I started "Project Live" I found an amazing trainer and started my journey, and that is what I want to share. I am a regular person and I will share a no holds barred real view of all my experiences as I strive to lose 100lbs. In the coming weeks I will journal my food, my workouts and all my emotions. My hope is that anyone reading will get a little insight, inspiration or even understanding what it is like to be an overweight person deciding on and making their life change.